mental health day

i did it!

2010-04-13T06:17:00.002-05:00

In reference to the previous post...
I did it!!
As I was shooting these I had this amazing moment, where everything just gelled and everything was just working perfectly, the lighting, their interaction, the composition EVERYTHING! And as I was clicking away I was thinking this really is what I'm supposed to be doing. I was in love.
Now I just have to remember that feeling and not chicken out!

it's a long one

2010-03-19T18:42:00.008-05:00

Since I started this blog back in 2005 (holy cow, almost 5 years ago...that's crazy!) I've mentioned photography, my love of photography and my desire to make it my career. A lot of time these posts feature my wishy-washyness (yes, that's a word) about what I want to do, and how to go about doing it. And honestly, I've always known what I wanted to do, since I first started taking classes in high school. I've always loved watching people, observing how people interact, the things they do. I knew I wanted to take pictures of people. I used to sit for hours with magazines and catalogs like j.crew (it was my favorite because the models weren't overly posed, there is a very natural quality about their location shots) looking at photographs, cutting them out and pasting them into an inspiration notebook. In high school I would organize photo shoots with my friends as models, trying to recreate the images I saw in magazines. For a little while I thought I even thought I wanted to be a fashion photographer...just so I could work at j.crew. It wasn't until I got out of college and started working at a camera store which was frequented by wedding and portrait photographers that I realized that is what I wanted to do. Up until that point I thought all wedding photographers did the stiff formal awkward and uncomfortable looking poses and photographs. I felt like my eyes had been opened to something new and I knew that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to be able to mix my love of fashion with everyday people to create fun, loose, casual photographs. So why haven't I? I'm a chicken shit. My number one worry relates to me being shy. I've always been shy, not one to start a conversation, but not socially awkward. Although getting older has helped that a lot. Really I've seen a huge change in the past 3 years. I can start a conversation and can quickly let my guard down and joke and laugh and become comfortable. But that shy girl still worries that I won't be able to make subjects feel comfortable and then they won't have fun or get the kind of images they want. I've come to realize a lot of this just takes doing it and it will all fall into place.

When it came time to go to college I decided I wanted to major in photography. It was the only thing I felt I was good at and loved doing, the only thing I could see myself doing. This may sound cheesy and over-dramatic but it's like something in my soul tells me that photography is the path I'm supposed to be on. I think about photography all the time. I dream about having my own photography business and I get really excited and when I think about it not happening I get a lump in my throat and ache in my heart. When I'm taking pictures everything just clicks. I remember once in college a friend was asking for advice on composing images and I gave him some basic pointers but I also explained that I saw things in terms of photographs, everything I looked at I would compose in my mind as a photograph. I've gotten away from that and truly miss it. When I was in school taking tons of photo classes that's what my brain and eyes were focused on. But now, I don't pick up the camera as much as I'd like and I only see that world when I'm looking through the viewfinder. And honestly, it's not as easy to find as it was in school. Since I got a digital camera, I've gotten lazy. I learned photography on manual everything and had to think about everything, when I got my digital camera I was so excited, Auto focus! Aperture priority! I never have to think again! And I was under the impression that all professional photographers no longer used their manual settings. It hasn't been until recently that I realized I was so wrong. I have been not that happy with my exposures and had become certain that it was my camera. I started thinking about getting a new camera and at about the same time I've become increasingly frustrated with my current job and really wanting to make photography my career and was looking for inspiration and somehow stumbled upon a photographer named Jasmine Star. I have literally spent hours looking at her blog (Jasmine, if you have a site meter and there's someone who's been on your site for 5 hours straight, um, Hi!, that's me.). I love her images, they are like what I've been wanting to create. They are razor sharp in focus, excellent exposures, the lighting is insane, well composed and there was more than once I just sat staring wanting to lick my screen. What I also love is that she is so open with information, on her blog she has FAQs and she answers tons of questions about her equipment and her techniques and how she got started with no formal photography training (and has a link to her old blog when she first started where she shares a lot of her frustrations -- which I feel like we share. I also love that she shares her images when she was first starting out and you can see her progression). I feel like I've learned so much and am so inspired by her. After reading her FAQs I realized my camera is not why I'm having exposure issues, I have to go back to manual settings, I'm smarter than my camera...but I could use a couple of better quality lenses (hello tax refund!). :)

So, I've decided I'm going to do it. Be a real photographer. I'm scared but I'm going to push through. Even if I fail, I will have tried (and will keep trying until I make it). I'm taking baby steps to get back to seeing everything as a photograph and to build my portfolio, hello friends! free portraits!

2009 in photos

2010-01-05T20:26:00.002-05:00

june 14, 1998

2009-11-11T21:09:00.004-05:00

This is something I've been thinking about doing for over two years. I first mentioned it here.
It's taken me years to be able to openly talk about it, I'm not completely comfortable with it, but I've realized it does more harm to me to hold it in than to let it out.

June 14, 1998.

I woke up this morning feeling something was wrong. I get out of the bed I had been sleeping in at my friend's house, none of them are awake yet. It is so hot outside, the leather seats burn my back as I drive home. It's not only hot, it's sticky, the heavy oppressive thick air that only the South knows.

---

I go home everything is quiet, everyone seems on edge, but no one knows why. Alex is already awake, which is rare, he's not usually up this early. I take a shower and I put on a pair of Paris Blues jeans and a white Fruit of the Loom men's v-neck undershirt. I later come to think of this outfit as a bad luck charm, never to be worn again.

---

They pulled up to the house and got out of the car, two of them, a man and a woman. Mom walks outside and closes the front door behind her. They say something to her and she sits down on the steps. Alex and I watch from Mom and Dad’s bedroom window overlooking the porch. She is upset, her head buried in her hands, wiping her eyes with her palms. I am worried. I call Dad on his cell phone. He doesn’t answer, I leave a message "Dad, just wondering where you are, I'm at home. Call us back. I love you." The time passed slowly, I think I call Dad a second time. Finally Mom stands up and they head for the door.

“Lauren, Alex come downstairs” she says. She holds our hands and we sit down at the kitchen table. The only words I remember are Dad, car, accident, fatal. I don’t remember the combination. I cry out as my body collapses. The detective pulls me off the floor and I push him away.

---

I sit next to Mom as she picks up the phone to call my Dad’s younger sister. I hear her scream on the other end of the line.

---

They come back a few hours later and start asking questions. Did your Dad seem happy last night? I am sitting on the kitchen counter. I am mad and rude. Yes. I say. Did your parents fight a lot? No. They fight the same amount as any parents.

---

There was a gun in the car. The gun went off. It hit Dad in the chin below the right side of his mouth. The gunpowder residue was on his hand. They say suicide. I choose to believe accident.

---

Flowers start arriving. Lilies. Asiatic and Stargazer. Their perfume fills the house, it smells like death. Food is dropped off. No one is hungry. Dad always does the cooking.

---

In the mornings before the funeral mom is gone, meeting with the funeral home and making arrangements. I start making a collage of photos to display at the reception after the funeral.

---

We leave for the funeral in a black limousine. We sit on the left side of the church. The simple walnut casket is closed it has more lilies on it. I walk out and notice so many people there, the church is full, there are people I don’t expect to see. At the burial there are bagpipes playing. We go to the reception. I talk to some family and introduce my friends. I sit outside on the porch. I eat a slice of ham, even though I'm not hungry, it is probably the first thing I have eaten in days.

---

After the funeral my Aunt and Uncle invite us to come swimming at the hotel pool where they are staying. It's so hot and miserable outside but I say no.

---

We get Dad’s belongings back. His briefcase covered in evidence tape. I am mad that they just left the tape on. Parts of papers inside are covered in dried blood. His glasses are in a brown paper bag and broken.

---

We go to the lot where his car is, I don’t remember why, but I remember something about donating it for parts. I see his car out of the corner of my eye. It is damaged and dented but not terribly. There is blood all over the front seat.

---

I start to realize how much weight I’ve lost. I am wearing my favorite pair of perfectly worn Levi’s, they have become loose and saggy. The normally loosely fitting gray v-neck is extra baggy. I notice my elbow bones are sticking out much more than normal. But I still have no appetite.

---

School starts. I get sick in the morning. All I can keep down is orange juice and that’s only for about 30 mins. I’m late for school for the first two weeks, that’s if I go in at all. Some mornings I make it to the parking lot but can’t go in.

---

I start seeing a therapist. She asks me on a scale of 1 to 10 how sad am I. I say a 10. She has me look at moving lights, red and green, for several minutes. She turns the light off and asks how sad am I now. I tell her 10. Inside I’m thinking this is bullshit. You expect me to look at lights for 5 minutes and then not feel sad that my Dad has just died?

---

I don’t remember at what point the pain starts to ease. I do remember that into the next few years there I nights that I cry myself to sleep.

shameless self promotion

2009-10-08T21:44:00.004-05:00

Just in case you haven't scrolled down to the sidebar...or maybe you're reading through Google Reader...I've started selling some of my photographs through etsy.com.
Stop by and have a look!

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade
modnyphotography.etsy.com

i'm back

2009-10-06T20:27:00.002-05:00

I haven't been posting in a loooong time. I was over at tumblr but for whatever reason, I've decided to come back to blogger. I think I haven't posted in a while because I don't really have anything to say, that was one of the good things about tumblr, you can just post a picture or video, and not write anything. But at the same time that convenience has caused me to fall out of the habit of writing here and looking for things to talk about. So maybe that was just my long winded way of saying I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.
I've been trying to post my tumblr posts back on blogger, but I'm have trouble getting it to work. So hopefully, I can get that situated...
So, that's all for now. Except...HAPPY FALL!!

little things

2009-08-31T11:55:00.000-05:00

Little things make me happy, like the fact that Fall is in the air and the breeze through my open window is rustling the curtains.

thank you instyle

2009-05-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

My subscription to InStyle has offically paid for itself...remember those frustrating j.crew ads that talked about Jenna, but never told you who she is? She's j.crew's creative director! My life is now complete and I no longer spend hours pondering. Thank you InStyle.

i love this stuff!

2009-04-08T11:46:00.001-05:00

Oikos Organic Greek Honey Yogurt. It's so delicious and creamy and has honey on the bottom. And is so tasty with granola and strawberries and blueberries. You should try it! Yum!

i love this time lapsed photography

2009-04-07T11:49:00.000-05:00

Beached from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

love!love!love! this cracks me up!

2009-03-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

sarah says

2009-03-10T11:45:00.000-05:00

"I just like the SUNLIGHT
OMFG SUN is so AMAZING!"

Yum! Real Simple | April 2009

2009-03-10T11:43:00.000-05:00

500 days of summer

2009-03-10T11:42:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to me!

2009-03-03T07:27:00.002-05:00

lauren & heidi hug it out

2009-02-24T07:34:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap what's wrong with me?!

1 | I love this show.

2 | I actually got choked up watch a preview of THE HILLS! Seriously? Seriously?!

Please send help.

lauren loves lara

2009-02-19T07:36:00.000-05:00

Yum! Key Lime Pie!

loving this

2009-02-08T11:16:00.000-05:00

I'm loving this song!!

Katy Perry - Thinking of You (via CapitolMusic)

Moleskine®

2009-02-06T11:19:00.001-05:00

I LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! these journals!!

i'm really missing this place right about now

2009-02-05T11:24:00.000-05:00

girls just wanna

2009-02-05T07:38:00.000-05:00

One of my all time favorite movies. I always watched it when I was sick as a kid. LOVE IT!

when i get home I put on sweats

2009-02-04T11:27:00.000-05:00

Because they are cozy!

j.crew are you ever going to tell me who Jenna is?

2009-02-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

her morning elegance

2009-02-03T11:28:00.000-05:00

pt loser

2009-02-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

it's a new year! and i'm still all random and rambling.

2009-01-05T07:25:00.000-05:00

Hello Internets! It's been a while since I've posted something "real". I figured a New Year is a great time to start. Do ya'll usually make New Years resolutions? I usually don't, I've always thought, if I want to make a change, I'll just do it, not because this is when everyone is supposed to do it. So up until about 5 minutes before writing this post, I was all "screw New Years resolutions!" Then I had a change of thought...maybe there is something to starting off the New Year with a brand new clean slate. So then I thought...What would make me really happy? Two things: photography and rowing.

And with that thought, I just signed up and paid for a 2 month black and white photo class (which may not be as amazing as that class I was going to take in Maine, that got cancelled...but that's fine with me) as soon as I hit Submit, I smiled and said outloud (because I talk to myself) I'm taking a photography class! Yay! And I'm so excited! It doesn't start until next month but Holy Moly! It's good 'old film! (I love film!) and it's black and white! (I love black and white!) and it's in the darkroom (I love the darkroom!)!

So, then I started looking into rowing classes but they don't start until May. But I'm still determined to start rowing again. I started thinking about this because when I got home from work today, I walked in, like usual. Put down the mail (New J.Crew spring catalog!), like usual. And then turned on the TV, like usual. I looked at the TV and thought this is a wasteland. It's just there as background, there is never anything on that I truly want to watch, I just watch it out of boredom. And I thought I want to be doing something active. I want to be someone who goes for a run, not someone who watches TV all the time. I could've gone for a run but it was dark out...that's my excuse. I've never been good at running, I mean I know how to run, but it was never fun unless I was running really fast sprints and beating everyone else in my gym class. The mile was my enemy, I always felt like I was going to pass out...maybe I wasn't breathing right. I think my train of thought then moved onto rowing because I really love it and it's active. But the only downside is that I can't just go rowing whenever I feel like it. I could get a rowing machine but a nice one is around $1000 and that's a lot of money...so the next best thing...rowing this spring and think about running in the near future (Randy, you may have found yourself a 5K buddy, but seriously, don't hold your breath)...maybe to get ready for rowing.

So, I'm excited to say that my resolutions are things that I'm actually looking forward to and excited that they are things that truly make me happy. What about yours?

I have a good feeling about this year of 2009. Yes, I do.

a lesson in online chatting

2008-12-23T07:24:00.000-05:00

Alex: mom just needed something to say about you, no worries, yar
Me: i don't know what that means, yar, yeah?
Alex: a pirate saying yes, geeez...you need to chat online more often, this is painful

finally

2008-11-21T06:25:00.000-05:00

Holy Moly! Today is FINALLY here! EDWARD!

obama-mania

2008-11-05T06:26:00.000-05:00

Obama-MANIA Party Shuts Down Broadway in Boulder

happy halloween

2008-11-02T07:23:00.000-05:00

Granny and Grumpy Grandpa would like to wish you a belated Happy Halloween.

wine

2008-10-30T06:19:00.001-05:00

Someone please educate me on wine.
Thank you.

I think this comeback might work. The only problem...she's naked! OMG!

2008-10-23T06:19:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZSLIq6YiRY

i used to have 5 friends

2008-10-06T06:21:00.000-05:00

best ever

2008-10-03T06:22:00.000-05:00

the best concert ever. seriously.

pass the dutchie

2008-09-23T21:53:00.001-05:00

This song is currently stuck in my head.

Hey Ernest, this one's for you!

2008-09-22T21:57:00.001-05:00

LOVE!

yay

2008-09-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

It's official! The game my brother has been testing for several months (10-12 hours a day for 6 days a week...wait that sounds bad but it's his job he gets paid to play video games all day...yes, that's right.) has been released! Check it out if you're a gamer.

2008-09-12T22:00:00.001-05:00

"Gas could go up to $9 a gallon once Ike hits."

A lady who works at the gas station.

(Seriously? $9. That’s insanity! I don’t believe it!)

could i be a scad grad?

2008-09-05T22:03:00.000-05:00

Today I received a package in the mail. It was from SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design). I may have mentioned the school once or twice. I had applied there for undergrad, went to visit, fell in love and got accepted. But I decided it was too far from home. So, I ended up going to a school that I hated (but had a great photo department) stuck it out for a year and then transferred to a school where one of my high school friends was going. They had a good photography program but I never felt like a I was really learning new things or being pushed to do better work. Once I graduated I decided I was done with school. In the past few years, there's a thought that is always in the back of my mind. What would have happened if I went to SCAD? Maybe I shouldn't rule out grad school. Maybe it would help me crystalize my future career. I know I want to be doing photography, but I don't know how. I know I love fine art photography, but can that really be a steady career? I have said since realizing in high school that I loved photography, I want to make a living making photographs that I love, that other people will love. I want to be in galleries maybe even a museum. But, I'm not looking to be famous. I just want to make a successful career out of doing what I love and hope that others will love it too.

So, I decided to look into SCAD grad school. Because when I think of going back to school, that's the only place I think of for two reasons:

1) Their photo department is awesome...(if you want to check it out click here, then choose Flash Tour at the top, then scroll down to Bergen Hall to watch an awesome video) literally I'm in awe.

2) I wanted to go there but never was too chicken to suck it up and make it happen.

So, now I'm older and wiser and know I need to follow my heart. Otherwise, I'll keep wondering "what if?" When I think about it I get really excited thinking about the school, being back in class, surrounded by other students who love photography as much as me, critiques, being in the darkroom, being in Savannah, being so close to the beach (finally!). Then I start really thinking about it and I get really scared. Moving to Savannah, not knowing anyone, where am I going to live, how am I going to pay for school, how am I going to pay for an apartment, how am I going to

be able to have time for a job and school, could I work on campus, but would I make enough money, what if I do get a job off campus, then I'm moving to a new place, going to a new school and getting a new job, it all is very overwhelming. And that's where I get stuck and decide to stop thinking about it all together. That's where I am right now, really wanting to go but in worry mode. Maybe my next step should be to visit the school again and not worry so much. If I stay positive it will all work out, right? At least that's what I'm choosing to believe.

paper planes

2008-09-02T22:04:00.000-05:00

I like this song and it scares me.

o hai

2008-08-30T21:31:00.000-05:00

please check out the awesomeness that is tonight on SARAH SAYS...

2008-08-26T21:34:00.000-05:00

I'm back from Santa Fe. It was fun and really great to see that part of the country and spend time with family I don't get to see often. I'd love to go back in the fall or the winter. And I got some so comfy winter boots. Hopefully, it get cold enough here to wear them!

See the rest of the pictures here.

two things

2008-08-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

1 | Working Mother Magazine what are you doing sending me a subscription TO MY OFFICE?! First, I'm not pregnant! Secondly, at work, seriously? Thirdly, I did not subscribe to your magazine, but my name is definitely on the bottom of that magazine.

2 | Proactiv, I love you, really, really from the bottom of my soul love you. But why did you just charge me $18.95 for a bottle of cleanser I purchased at the mall kiosk? Does it really have to be practically $20 when I can buy the whole set for $45?

2008-08-19T21:37:00.001-05:00

Lindsey and I enjoyed a day at the mall. I also shot a test roll of film with the camera I got. Unfortunately, I overlooked a setting and got some motion blur happening on all the photos...too bad cause Lindsey was enjoying the fountain...maybe a little too much.

loving this

2008-08-13T21:40:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScXLHgPcZuc

I'm loving this song. It's also educational, I now know who the Jonas Brothers are and their names! I still have one question, who is Rob?

Jonas Brothers - Burnin' Up - Official Music Video (HQ) (via JonasBrothersMusic)

2008-08-12T21:43:00.002-05:00

I'll be here next week. Anyone ever been there? I hear it's wonderful!

The old trail (via Codejoy)

weekend update

2008-08-10T21:46:00.000-05:00

Saturday | I got a haircut, I got some bangs...those bangs I talked about 6 months ago. I like them, but I'm still getting use to them. We have a power struggle sometimes but I usually win the fight...more on this later. In the afternoon mom and I went to Montpelier, James Madison's house. It's under renovation but we did go inside. It was basically an empty house in various stages of construction. In every room we went into the guide made sure to bring our attention to the "beautiful heart pine floors" which had just been sanded down and they are still doing research to find out how they were finished in Madison's time. Mom and I walked through the gardens and had a nice afternoon.

Sunday | This morning I started to figure out how to dry my bangs and while I was doing so I managed to burn a section of hair off with the hair dryer! Does that happen often, I mean I've heard of burning hair with a curling iron! It's on the under section, so it's easy to hide. But I have to say, it has me a little nervous. Although, I was using a hair dryer that I leave at home and yesterday I noticed that it was really hot. So it probably didn't help that I was using a round brush with a metal core.

Please tell me some one else has managed to burn their hair off??

happy bday b sauce!

2008-08-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Brandy!!
(yes, you'll always be younger than me.)

edward

2008-08-01T21:50:00.000-05:00

"To keep the characters."

On why Sarah needs drawers with tops.

my new home(s)

2008-07-31T21:29:00.001-05:00

Hello! I'm over here!

As you all know, I haven't posted in forever. I decided I needed something new to get back in the swing of things, so I've decided to switch over to tumblr. Add me to your reader! It took some work, I found mods (Alex would be so proud I found a way to use that word in a sentence) to import all of my blogger posts (except for one, November 4, 2007...but it wasn't such a good one). I also found a way to add comments, but can't figure out how to import all the old ones, so I may just leave it, or if I feel inspired, I may type them all in...if I get really inspired.

Also, I moved into my new apt a month ago, today! It's finally put together. Although, there are still a few things I'd like, but they can wait for now. Photos of bits and pieces in flickr.

Brandy came to visit this weekend and we went to see Miracle and her little baby girl, who is adorable and smiley and wonderful. I got to hold her and feed her and she just stared at me, I'm in love! After leaving Miracle's we went to see Brandy's new apartment (she got a new job in Northern Virginia), then we went into the city and walked around and hung out in Georgetown. While we were there I resisted the urge to go have my picture taken at the Ukrainian Embassy and yell the few Ukrainian words I know at the gate. Really it was for Brandy's sake, but I have a feeling I'll be visiting her often and since she lives so close, I don't think I'll be able to resist much longer!

Also, since we last talked I have become obsessed with Twilight. I ~~blame~~ thank Sarah. Seriously, have you read it? Edward! I love you!

russian dolls | milk vids

2008-07-31T21:25:00.000-05:00

mailbox mailbox maaailllbooox

2008-07-30T21:26:00.000-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

yo! over here!

2008-07-30T20:24:00.000-05:00

Dudes,

I'm over here.

updates and miscellany

2008-06-21T11:03:00.002-05:00

Next week I start my move to my new home. My new lease starts on Tuesday and my plan is to move a load of boxes to new place each day so that when Saturday gets here, all I have to move is the furniture. That's the plan anyway, the reality is that I've packed one box, one small box of dvds. That's a good start, right? I'm just not motivated. I really hate packing. I hate the organizing before packing. I prefer to throw everything in the box and worry about the organization later. But then as soon as I start unpacking, I always think that I should have organized it before because I hate unpacking even more than packing. And I'm always trying to find that little random thing I threw in a random box. I'm sure I'll get it done, maybe not as planned but it'll get moved one way or another. Also, next Sunday will be spent cleaning this apartment (because my lease is up on Monday and I have to go to the Move Out Inspection at 9am) not just sweep and wipe out the sink. I received a letter with detailed instructions as to specific bowling alley floor wax I have to use on the wood floor, making sure to leave the empty bottle as proof of waxing floor, soaking all the mini blinds in a tub full of Clorox for several hours, cleaning behind the refrigerator, wipe down the inside of the dishwasher, have the carpets professionally cleaned (and leave the receipt)...thank God I don't have carpet. Anybody want to come help me?

Also, a while ago I got a new laptop, I had an old Airport station (wireless router for macs) that I used with my old laptop. I had connected the new computer to it and it worked for a little while but all of the sudden it stopped and I could get it to work again. I had been using a neighbors wireless network, but the signal was so low that the internet only worked when I was in my bedroom sitting on specific spot on my bed, but it was soooo slow. So I went out today to get a new one. Set it all up and was still having problems. All the lights that were supposed to be on were, and the blinking ones were blinking, all systems were go but it wasn't working so I called the support center. I spoke with Thomas from India. He was very helpful and we got it all working. So I am happy to say that I am sitting on my couch, watching TV and blogging at the same time! Awesome!

And, because I know you all want to know. I did tell my co-worker I would like to meet him. Actually, I emailed it because she wasn't in the office yesterday and I was so busy yesterday I didn't get any kind of breather until 3:30 when I went to scarf down a sandwich and get straight back to work.

Now I really need to start packing. Wish me luck.

internets, help me! i'm a chicken.

2008-06-19T12:17:00.002-05:00

Ok, Internets. I need your advice.
Yesterday a co-work of mine said she had this client who she wanted to set me up with. As soon as she said that I thought NO! I don't want to go on a blind date, just thinking about the possiblity of one gives me the heeby-jeebies. She told me about him (he's my age, has a great job, used to be a swimmer, he's handsome, he's a really nice guy, has a good head on his shoulders, asks her if she knows any nice single girls, he keeps his house clean, he owns his own house) and I started to think it might not be that bad, he might be actually be a really good guy. You have nothing to lose. Just do it, you're such a chicken.
As the conversation ended, I smiled (not a real smile) and nodded, I might have said ok. All which looked to the outside world like no she's not really interested, she's just humoring you. But on the inside I was thinking, stop it, say yes. You're being a freak! As the conversation ended she left it at, I need to figure out how to get him in the office and I run into him at the grocery store down the street after work sometimes, usually around 6:30, so if your ever there he's probably there too.

How do I tell her yes, after I think I gave her the impression that I wasn't interested?
Also, she told me his name (and where he works, and what street he lives on) is it psycho to google him?

goin' to the chapel

2008-06-03T17:59:00.007-05:00

I thought that since Lindsey is getting married in a few short days, I would help alleviate some stress from her life and help her write her wedding vows. Then I realized how hard it is to write vows. So then I thought I'd ask google for some help. And apparently there is a market out there for people who need help writing vows. Because I found this! The Wedding Vow Toolkit! This is exactly what I need! Just look, I can learn:

How to once and for all completely erase any worries you have that your wedding vows aren’t as good as they could possibly be. (Awesome!)
Why I absolutely guarantee that your family, friends and one true love will be positively stunned that you (yes, you!) could write such amazingly romantic words? (Perfect!)
The closely guarded wedding vow secrets of professional poets that you practically need a subpoena to uncover (Huh? Well, ok!)
How to get access to hundreds upon hundreds of the most romantic phrases, poems, and sonnets ever written…phrases you can immediately drop right into your own wedding vows even if you personally can’t write at all? (Isn't that what google is for?)
How to have a professional speechwriter virtually looking over your shoulder and serving as your own private wedding vow consultant. (Works for me!)

Then it started going downhill when I read this:

What you speak to your fiancé on your wedding day are the words that
will form the bedrock of your marriage for the rest of your life.

I started to think I was in over my head. So, I scrapped that idea and then thought Lindsey would probably like something more like this:

OMG, WTF my BFF is now my husband!

I'm so happy for you both! I wish you a lifetime of love and laughter!

things that suck

2008-05-27T19:33:00.003-05:00

Right this minute there is some kind of animal in my chimney. I can hear it, but can't figure out what it is. I went ahead and barricaded the opening so I don't wake up to a wild animal in my living room again.

How long until I get to move out of here...5 weeks.

And it couldn't come soon enough.

just awesome, really awesome!

2008-05-23T19:34:00.004-05:00

I got a new computer! A laptop, a Macbook to be exact. My desktop has been on it's way out for a while and I decided to just bite the bullet and get a new computer. I used to have a iBook that I loved dearly, Isabella Isa iBook, was her name. But she had a major malfunction twice. The first time she was able to be revived, unfortunately the second time was just too much for her little motherboard to take and she was taken to computer heaven. I didn't realize how much I missed having a laptop until I got this new one (which I'm still trying to name). The only problem so far is that I haven't set up the wireless connection (the router and stuff is at my parent's house). The ethernet isn't working right either. So, I'm stealing some one's wireless connection, which I feel bad about, worse though, is that I can only get a signal in the laundry room/closet. So here I am parked next to the washing machine, trying to get things set up. Like Mac's new Mail version, which can import from gmail. So I've been doing that for several hours. And I've been playing with Photo Booth. Can I tell you how much I love it? I really really really love it!

never want to leave zhe islands

2008-05-22T20:56:00.003-05:00

best vacation ever.

so many things to do!

2008-04-27T10:47:00.003-05:00

Wow, it's really been a month since my last post. I've been busy apparently or had absolutely nothing to share. It's been a combo of both.
1 | Someone's bridal shower is soon and I've been planning and organizing with Sarah,
2 | Vacation is in 11 days! and that time flew by, so I'm also planning for that
3 | The day after we get back I have a wedding to go to.
4 | Then I have a break for a bit then another wedding
5 | Then a few weeks later it's time to move into my new place, in the end of June (hot, humid and sticky!)

Busy!

it must be spring

2008-03-28T16:35:00.003-05:00

home bittersweet home

2008-03-21T14:54:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I came home to another note on my apartment door that said they would be showing it again.
This morning I did a quick little tidy and began opening the blinds. As I opened the blinds in the kitchen they broke off the bracket that hold them up, plummeted to the ground and the top of the top part broke off. As I picked up the pieces I said outloud "I hate this fucking place. I'm so ready to move out."
I faxed in my maintenance request form as I have done 40 times before expecting them to say, you broke it, you replace it.
In the afternoon I went to the complex where I want to rent my new apartment from [I had called them earlier this week to see if they knew what they would have available in June. They have a 2 bedroom end unit in Mid-June] to give them my rental application. I heard back from them one hour! later and they told me my application had been accepted! And they had the lease for me to pick up and fill out and bring back on the move-in day. We got to leave work 2 hours early today so I stop by the new place to pick up the lease.
When I got back to my apartment I saw that the maintenance man had been here, he had left a binder and bucket of tools. So I called the Rental Office to tell them that he had left his things here, they said he probably just ran out to Lowe's and they would call him and let him know I was back. While I had her on the phone I asked about painting the walls back [it's in the lease that the walls must be painted back to the color and brand they specify.] she started to tell me and then paused and was talking to another lady and I was sitting here thinking, something is going to go wrong, somehow I'm going to get screwed and not get any of my-ridiculously-high-one-month's-rent security deposit back. And then I'm going to totally lose my shit and completely freak out. She got back on the phone and said they had gotten an application in today [from the person they showed it to on Wednesday] and that she loved the paint color and they would ask her if she wanted to be responsible for painting it back when she leaves! And thank you so much for keeping your apartment so nice and clean!
Now that the end is getting close I'm feeling torn, I love the way this place looks and how I decorated it but I also hate the apartment and the rental company. The bad things generally outweigh the good. But I'm still feeling somewhat sad to leave it. What if I don't like the way the new place all comes together? I'm sure it will be great and I just need to move forward and remember why I want to leave so much but not forget the things I like about this place.

i would love to chat but...

2008-03-18T16:24:00.003-05:00

Remember how I said I was moving to a new apartment in June?
Today I came home to a note taped on my door:

We will be showing your apartment
Wednesday March 19th @ ~~4:00pm~~ 2:00pm
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

That's tomorrow!!! Holy shit, I have so much cleaning to do!!
I only have 6 hours until bedtime!
OMG! OMG!

word jumble

2008-03-12T17:07:00.005-05:00

Howdy ya'll! We have some catching up to do.

1 | Last Monday was my birthday. Which was probably the 2nd worst I've ever had. I won't bore you with the pity party but it consisted of my co-workers forgetting my birthday until about 3:30 but by that time I was already in a bad mood, having to work late to prepare for a presentation for a meeting the next day that my boss told me about at 4:30.

2 | This past weekend I went to visit my Aunt and Uncle who live in New Jersey. We were going to spend Saturday in NYC but the weather was really bad (really windy, rainy and foggy) so we spent most of the day at the house hanging out. My Uncle and I walked the dogs (they have two German Shepards that I love, and they were dogsitting a Goldendoodle puppy who was not housetrained, who was very quickly untraining one of the German Shepards) up their street, which always reminds me of the English country side, not that I've ever been there but I imagine that's kind of what it looks like. The fog was so pretty and I'm still mad that I didn't take my camera on the walk. In the late afternoon we went into the city and went to The Met and then dinner at this fancy Italian restaurant. After dinner we went to see Gypsy which was really great. The Woman who was sitting in front of my Uncle tried to start a fight. Let me set the scene for you:
It was an old theatre with tiny seats, we were all sitting shoulder to shoulder and I had literally 1/2 inch of space between my knees and the seat in front of me. My uncle who is about 6 feet tall had no room his knees were pushed tightly against the seat in front of him. The Woman walked up to her seat took off her winter coat and folded it in half and turned to face my uncle

"I'm just going to put my coat over the back of my seat." And started forcing her coat in between my uncle's knees
"I'm sorry Ma'am but the seats are very tight, could you please hold it in your lap."
She ignored him and kept trying to shove the coat between my uncles knees. My uncled blocked her from pushing her coat further and said "The seats are very tight, there isn't room, please hold it in your lap."
She turned to her husband and said "Just ignore him."
Her husband intervened and said "I'll hold your coat, I don't want to get into a fight."
"Neither do I." said my uncle

3 | During dinner my Aunt said that she and my uncle have a friend who is working as a pilot in Moscow, she said that they might go visit him and then go to Ukraine to see where our family came from. The moment she said that I thought "I WANT TO GO! INVITE ME! INVITE ME!" Which I didn't say but expressed a lot of enthusiam, I don't think they got my subtle hint. Today I started thinking about taking Russian again so I went to talk to one of my co-workers who used to be fluent and spent time time in Russia in college, but hasn't really used it in years. I told her that I took it in college and that I really liked it and that my family is Ukrainian and felt like I was somehow connecting to my roots. She said you know that makes sense, your facial features look Slavic, you got all the good stuff. Which is nice to hear but don't believe at all. Considering I look like my Mom and unfortunately don't see any Ukrainian features from my father's side of the family.

4 | I found a new great conditioner. TRESemme Flawless Curls Curl Moisturizing Professional Formula Conditioner. Apparantly my hair was thirsty, because it's so soft and shiny now!

5 | It's almost spring! Yesterday on my way home from work, I noticed that the trees are starting to bloom!

i love to paint!

2008-02-28T18:53:00.004-05:00

Last month I talked about moving and the new apartment I found and really like. I went back to look at a 1 bedroom yesterday. It was fine but I'm still leaning toward the 2 bedroom (guest room/office!). But since it's several months away they won't know what they have available until next month.

I was thinking more about decorating and think I want to paint a wall in the kitchen with chalkboard paint. Then I found this picture on Martha's website. And I love it! The only way it could be better is if it was brown and aqua and made of cashmere! Ok maybe I'm going a little overboard but I do really love the way this looks!

Searching for the perfect housewarming gift to send me (or maybe a birthday present -- it's on Monday!)?

they come rolling in

2008-02-26T17:46:00.002-05:00

Did I tell you that my birthday is on Monday!
Presents have started arriving!

1 | This past weekend I went home to see my Mom and decided to go to AT&T and see what kind of non flip phones they had (I hate flip phones). My phone is almost 5 years old and just recently started telling me that I had voicemails and text messages (yay!) when in reality I had neither. I found a non flip phone which was a slider style and decided to buy it, at the register Mom popped up and said the the employee "I'd like to pay for that." She turned to me and said "Happy Birthday, Lauren, my darlin.'"

2 | Today in the mail I had a birthday card from my Aunt with a gift card to J.Crew! I love J.Crew but hate that it's so expensive. Yay! Free money!

3 | And to top it all off today I got an email from Coldstone Creamery with a Birthday Club coupon for a FREE Love it! size signature creation! ICE CREAM!!

A side note: Did you guys know that Daylight Savings Time starts on March 9th...that's in 2 weeks!

a funny thing happened on the way home...

2008-02-12T17:49:00.001-05:00

...I saw a person riding a bike with a snorkel mask on.

overheard conversations

2008-02-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

Walgreens|Shampoo Aisle, Sunday, February 10th 3:00pm

Girlfriend (talking very loudly): Is your hair dry and frizzy?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Do you need more shine?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Is your hair fine and oily? Well it's fine but is it oily?
Boyfriend: I don't know.
Girlfriend: What about Citrus Breeze?
Boyfriend: I would know if I saw the commercial again.
Girlfriend: Is it dry and itchy?

Walgreens|Walking to checkout, Sunday, February 10th 3:15pm

Girlfriend (talking very loudly again): I need something for my face. I've been putting Vaseline on my face because it's been so dry and now I'm breaking out.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend (even louder): I need something for my face. I've been putting Vaseline on my face because it's been so dry and now I'm breaking out. SEE? LOOK, SEE RIGHT HERE!?

a project in complete narcissism

2008-02-07T19:37:00.000-05:00

Ok blogging friends, I need your advice. Do read whoorl? (thank you Sarah) I love it especially on Thursdays because that means Hair Thursday! I'd love to send in my picture and see what she would recommend (I wish I had the eye that could look at someone and see the perfect haircut for them, unfortunately I don't) but I'm also impatient (she is currently booked until fall/winter 2008).
So onward, I'm in a hair rut. In June I cut it short, chin length. And I've been unintentionally growing it out. It wasn't my plan to, I never really thought about it either way. But I do miss my longer hair. This is what I do, cut it short, then miss the long hair and grow it out, think it's too long then cut it short, then the cycle repeats. The problem is that when it's long I usually just put it in a ponytail so it stays out of my face. I would love to find a style that is on the longer side but somehow keeps me from wanting to put it in a ponytail. But I guess what I really want to know is what length I should keep it at. In an act of complete narcissism I have compiled several of my different hair lengths over the past few years. (I'm not really looking forward to posting it but I if I am asking for help, you probably need something to go by.)

|This how it looks now|

This is the hairstyle that I love!love!love!:

I know there are bangs involved. I think I have mentioned before that I've toyed with the idea of bangs, but have never followed through (thru?) because 1. that's a big change and I haven't had bangs since I was 11 (maybe it's time for a change) 2. the hair near my face is curly (yet easy to straighten) 3. It wouldn't be the quick, shampoo, dry it for less than 5 minutes and out the door, that I'm used to (but it probably wouldn't take long to straighten bangs) 4. If I hate it, it's a pain to grow bangs out (but I like the long sweepy ones so maybe it won't be so bad)

Because I love polls...please vote. Another idea? Leave it in the comments.

the best non-holiday holiday

2008-02-05T09:57:00.000-05:00

The day has finally arrived:
World Nutella Day!!

I love nutella!!

Edited to add: Did you look at the date of that post? It was this day 2 years ago! I didn't even know there was a World Nutella Day then! How weird is that?

2008-02-02T12:21:00.000-05:00

It's growing on me more, but I'm just not sure. I posted there today, just to see.

slippery slope

2008-02-01T17:21:00.001-05:00

My lease is up at the end of June and I'm planning on moving. As much as I like things about this apartment (which are also the things I hate) I still need to move
1 | because as I have documented (some) here, this place has had lots of problems and the apartment company is less than helpful or willing to resolve the problems.
2 | If I renew my lease they will hike my rent up, which has already happened once.
I've looked into a couple of places, one not so great, good price but too far away. One place I emailed just to get some basic info and they said they wouldn't know anything until the end of March and were not very pleasant. Based on that email I decided that's probably not the place for me. The other place I looked at I really really like ( I realize talking about this might jinx it all since I have until June). The price is a little more than I wanted to spend but it ends up being only about $20 more a month including my utilities than where I am now and it's not too far away (only 5 minutes from work). Also it's a two bedroom, which means I could have a guest room/office! Which I can not express how excited I am about the idea of decorating. Oh, it's a sickness, I know, I have already almost semi-finalized an idea (which is where the jinxing and disappointment falls if this doesn't work out), gotten paint samples, looked at furniture (realized I need to start saving money to be able to furnish this room with a bed and mattress for actual guests i.e. Brandy), tried to do a perspective drawing and then remembered that I was not so good at those kinds of drawings.
My inspiration came from this little color sample from a graphic design magazine from work. I've settled on gray walls, I know it sounds kind of blah but it's going to be grayt and cozy. I'll put my desk in there b/c it won't fit in the living room and since it's white I'm thinking a white bed, this shelf and mirror from my bedroom at my parent's house or something similar and then pops of color with accessories, so it won't be so drab gray, maybe I'll find a inexpensive nightstand and paint it coral, I also have these two large hanging white japanese style paper lanterns that I got in college that I love, but haven't used in years. But this also puts me on a slippery slope because I very much enjoy being able to watch TV and internet at the same time, but since my desk will be in the guest room where I don't plan on having a TV that means I will be forced to internet without TV, since I only have a desktop computer. But I have been wanting oh.so.badly to get a laptop also my cheapo ikea couch is 6 years old (omg I was in college then!) and is really ready to be replaced with a grown-up couch and my TV stand could use a makeover by means of a brand new much nicer tv stand. Also, I don't have a coffee table because my apt now is too little to have one. It seems to me that I might have to save a lot to afford all of these things!

These are some pictures of the wall color. Apparently, Benjamin Moore's Chelsea Gray is the perfect gray.

tumblr

2008-01-29T18:38:00.000-05:00

Have ya'll heard about Tumblr
I'm not sure I get it.
I mean I get that it's like a blog but not completely.
It seems like you can't have a regular blog and tumblr.
Even though I don't get it that didn't stop me from signing up.
Have you heard of it, any opinions?

a case of the mondays

2008-01-21T19:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty crappy day. First off it was a Monday and we all know Monday's just suck. Then I woke up and had just enough water to brush my teeth. After having a mini breakdown I pulled myself together and went over to Sarah's to shower. I came back got dressed and of course was running late. I spent the majority of my day trying to get the landlord on the phone. Once to tell them I had no water. Twice to see when they were going to fix it. A third time when it hadn't been fixed by 3:30. Finally after getting answering machines, I called my mom, who decided she would try calling. Of course she got in touch with someone and they told her that they got the water working. The pipes froze because the people who rent the apt below me (who are never there) had turned their heat off, during the coldest couple of days this winter! The landlord turned their heat back on and left them a letter (it's in the lease that you can't have the heat lower than 50 degrees). Everything was working when I got home, let's hope it stays that way.

But my Monday picked up when I downloaded this nifty little ticker for the countdown to the best vacation ever! And made the reservations!!

10 beauty supplies i love

2008-01-16T19:16:00.000-05:00

1 | Softsoap Pure Cashmere Body Wash...makes skin soft and the pretty fragrance lasts all day!

2 | Covergirl Cheekers Blush in Natural Rose...I'm obsessed with blush, particularly finding the perfect color. I have tons of colors but I always come back to this one.

3 | Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Body Moisturizer...great for dry winter skin, thick but soaks in quickly and lasts all day.

4 | Neutrogena T-Gel Shampoo...I have psoriasis on my scalp and this is the only thing that keeps the insane itching at bay (I guess I don't really love this but, it's a necessity, so I've learned to love it).

5 | Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream...just like the body lotion but unscented. It's great and keeps hands from getting cracked and flaky!

6 | Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm...love, love, love the tingly minty freshness!

7 | John Frieda Frizz-Ease...I have been using this for 10+ years and I've tried lots of other frizz products, this is the only thing I've found that doesn't make my hair greasy or sticky.

8 | Proactiv...this should be number one on my list. I absolutely love Proactiv. I've been using this for about 10 years, I think. I can't say enough good things about it. Oh, how I love thee.

9 | Maybelline Lash Discovery Waterproof Mascara...I like the little brush. I have long eyelashes and most mascaras with bigger brushes make my lashes all clumpy and scraggly.

10 | Bare Escentuals Buxom Lips Lip Gloss...I got this for Christmas, I love the 4 mini lip glosses. The colors are sheer and because it's a plumping lip gloss it's all tingly, which I love...it doesn't plump my lips, but that's fine by me.

What are your favorites?

big! exciting! news!

2008-01-14T18:51:00.001-05:00

See these pictures? What do they all have in common?

They are places where I will be lounging in just 4 short months. That's right! I'm going a vacation to a far away land!
But I'm not going alone. I'm dragging Sarah along, kicking and screaming. And I am so excited, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for 4 months! Would it be obsessive if I have already started planning and thinking about what I should pack? I mean I'll definitely need sunscreen, a bathing suit, a hat, at least two cameras, an extra 1 gigabyte CF card, a tripod, maybe a film camera, at least 10 rolls of film. Maybe I should just stop here.

I've never been outside of the U.S., other than driving to Canada with my family in elementary school. But somehow driving to another country just doesn't feel like going to another country. I've been dreaming of going somewhere with turquoise water and white sand for a long time! I kind of can't believe it's happening!

the professional

2008-01-04T19:09:00.000-05:00

I've gone Pro.

by "she" I mean me

2008-01-03T20:02:00.000-05:00

Someone we both know just made a purchase of a new digital camera. This person has been itching for a new point and shoot digital camera for over a year. Their old camera is so slow and can only shoot about 50 pictures on a full battery before it dies.

This person is quite excited. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll share the new pictures with you.

you may hate me after you read this

2007-12-10T18:50:00.000-05:00

Has your dentist ever been so impressed with your oral hygiene that he wanted to award you with the title "Patient with the Best Oral Hygiene of the Week" (at 9am on Monday morning!)? Well mine did today! The hygienist kept saying how impressed she was, she even asked me how I keep my teeth so clean! I had practically zero tartar, which meant practically no scraping, which also meant I was out of there in 30 minutes! Gold Stars for me!

...and for my grand finale, I will now pull a squirrel out of this here chimney

2007-11-30T17:23:00.000-05:00

This morning was like any other morning. I got up, brushed my teeth, walked into the kitchen to unplug my cell phone, walked into the living room to turn on my computer and put my cell phone in my bag and as I was leaning down to put my phone into my bag, I had feeling that something was really wrong. I could just sense it. I looked up and...

Let me rewind a minute. Last night I got home from work. I walked in and noticed that one of my pictures had been knocked down. Nothing was broken or missing but things were just off. I was mildly freaked out and walked through the apartment making sure there wasn't someone hiding in the bathtub (because that's where intruders hide). The apartment was fine, no one hiding any place. So, I just brushed it off and moved on.

Back to our story at hand...
staring back at me with beady eyes and bushy tail was a squirrel sitting on the windowsill. It scared the bejeezuz out of me and screamed, I think my exact words were "holy!fucking!shit!a!squirrel!" I backed out of the living room just in time to realize I need my phone which is in my bag in the living room with the squirrel with the beady eyes. I called on Jesus. "Jesus please let me get my phone and please don't let the squirrel claw my face off (because that's what squirrels do)!" I tiptoe ever so slowly to my bag, bend down all while looking at the squirrel staring at me hoping that it won't decide that right this minute is the perfect time to claw my face off. I back into the kitchen and dial the phone to call my mommy, because who is the first person you call when you're freaked out or have a squirrel in your apartment? Your Mommy!! After a conversation that went something like her trying to devise an elaborate plan, forgetting that I'm in the apartment (that has no doors) with the squirrel with beady eyes. I say I have to go I have to call animal control and I don't have time for this!

I call a pest control company that is listed in the yellow pages as being available 24 hours and it's humane and the first thing they list that they remove are squirrels. Perfect! We charge $195 (ugh) We'll be there in 30 minutes (please hurry).

I wait for what seems like 10 hours while staring at the squirrel with the beady eyes hoping that it wouldn't come scurrying toward me to claw my face off. They finally arrive I let them in the back door. They tell me to go into the bathroom, it might jump all over the place. I hideout in the bathroom for about 45 minutes while I hear them fighting with the squirrel, make the phone call to my boss to tell him I'll be late. We chuckle he gives me advice on how to handle the situation with the ~~slumlord~~ landlord (getting them to reimburse me), which I hadn't even thought of.

The squirrel with the beady eyes, meanwhile, was fighting for his freedom and ended up getting stuck in the chimney and finally freed himself back into the wild.
I paid the man and while I was standing there chatting with him it all clicked...the squirrel was in here yesterday! that's why my stuff was all out of whack! Oh my God! It was in here last night! While I was sleeping! What if it had claw my face off in the middle of the night!
When I asked him if that was possible that it could have been in here last night he said it sure was. It probably was hanging out in the chimney until it was light out again. I was sufficiently freaked out. And trying to find a way to keep it from happening again.

After the men left I called the apartment owners and told them what happened. Long story short, they refuse to reimburse me because their maintenance department does "everything" and I should have paged the emergency pager number (and waited an hour to get a call back--if they called back at all)and they have traps and would have gotten it out. Because we know how well paging them worked last time. I asked them to at least put a cap on the chimney or something that will keep the squirrel from getting back in today. They said they would. Guess what? They didn't.

Now, I'm left feeling mad and backed into a corner, this company is unreasonable and every time I tried to say something they just talked over me and had an argument or excuse for everything I said. And on top of that they laughed at me and told I paid too much to have the squirrel with the beady eyes removed. As much as really want to fight this, I feel like it just a waste of my time and energy, they don't listen and they don't care.

Now if you will excuse me I need to do some major disinfecting and searching the lease for "maintenance does everything, including removing squirrels with beady eyes."

OMG!OMG!OMG!

happy birthday!

2007-11-29T18:03:00.000-05:00

Today is my Dad's birthday.
In memory of him, one of my favorite songs which always reminds me of him!

blast from the past

2007-11-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

family

2007-11-27T18:26:00.000-05:00

My Dad, my Grand Mary and Aunt M.

This is one of my favorite photographs of my family. I love the contrast and just the little bit of light illuminating their faces. I also love the idea that they were so involved in what they are watching that they didn't even notice my Grandpa Mike taking their picture.
My Grand Mary was amazing. She was an artist she painted portraits. The basement of their house was filled with canvases leaned up against one another, some finished and some with just sections painted. I loved going in the basement and looking through all of paintings, feeling like I had my own private art museum. She thought art was important, when we would visit her and my grandpa we always went to art museums and she always had tons of pads of papers, markers, crayons, pencils and pens for us to draw with.
Her parents (and Grandpa Mike's) came here from Ukraine in the early 1900s. They owned a farm in New Jersey. Grand Mary used to tell me how she would take a book and find a spot under an apple tree and read all day. She was so smart and had a great sense of humor. She was also a great cook, which is where my dad got it from, it was always a tradition to have brunswick stew when we would go visit. And it was always so good! I think about her often and wish we had more time together.

arbor mist

2007-11-26T18:10:00.000-05:00

Planning for an upcoming girly weekend has reminded me of the klassiest of screw cap wine, Arbor Mist. They used to have commericals for it on TV, I haven't seen one in years but thanks to youtube, I bring you Arbor Mist, the commerical.

She's right it is delicious!
I was thinking about all the flavors, really the fact that I've only had the Blackberry Merlot and didn't like it and the Strawberry Zinfandel, which is what we always would get in college (when we wanted something classier than Boone's Farm). I was thinking I wanted to try something new and went to their website. They have a handy guide to all their flavors. The closer to the top the sweeter the flavor.

I think I'd like to try everything but the merlots and the mixed berry pinot noir.
Do you like Arbor Mist? What's your favorite?

Also the website has fun and unique games to play, like charades!

amazing!

2007-11-25T20:49:00.000-05:00

I saw this on dooce.
It's amazing! You have to see this battle between a pride of lions, a herd of water buffalo and 2 crocodiles at a watering hole in South Africa's Kruger National Park while on safari.

procrastination station

2007-11-24T22:39:00.000-05:00

I've been putting off posting all day because I can't think of anything anything to write about. I spent the day watching football and making a yummy apple cranberry crisp, I took pictures but again, I left the cord at my apartment. That's all.

my first black friday

2007-11-23T22:04:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Sarah!!
We woke up at 4am to partake in the Black Friday Madness!
I am ready for bed. Actually I was in bed and remembered that I hadn't posted. I pulled myself out of my warm bed just to post...that's dedication!
Got so many deals, I can't even begin to put my happiness into words!
Also what makes me even happier is that I am practically done Christmas shopping, I only have about 4 more things to get!!
And what made the day even better was yummy chocolate fudge birthday cake, just for Sarah, the birthday girl!
Also a wonderful meal which didn't involve one bit of turkey leftovers was dinner at The Brick Oven!!
Now, I must go back to bed.

happy thanksgiving

2007-11-22T15:20:00.000-05:00

AND Happy Birthday to my Momma!
I can't post any pictures because I forgot my cord. But you'll just have to take my word that there was a lot of picture taking action at this house.

We haven't eaten yet but everything is smelling wonderful.
And Momma loved her birthday presents (including the wreath that I made last night).

I'm having a wonderful Thanksgiving, I hope you are too!
I'm also thankful that this year is the first year since college that I don't have to work the day after Thanksgiving. I might actually get to participate in the Black Friday Madness! Woohoo! Holiday season is here!

Happy Thanksgiving!

photo essay : sunrise on the beach

2007-11-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

Taken at Myrtle Beach, August 2005

2007-11-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

Can't blog right now.
Oprah's Favorite Things Show is on.
God, why am I not in the audience receiving all those wonderful gifts?!!

totally random

2007-11-19T17:17:00.000-05:00

Today went by so quickly. This is because I spent an hour and a half at the car dealership. I had a low tire. And in the past when I have tried to fill it, it just let more air out. The last time it happened they said they fixed it but I was still weary of trying to put air in it and then getting stuck with a really low tire. This morning on my way to work the flat tire monitor started blinking and beeping. When I got to work I walked around the car just to check it out and another tire was low. So I took the car to the dealership on my lunch hour. The tire that had had problems filling was fine, they put more air in. But they told me the other tire had a screw in it. They took it out and patched the hole. Everything is fine now.

In other news, I saw a really cute guy walking his dog this morning in my backyard which is also a city "park." We smiled at each other a couple of times.

photo essay : i love cameras

2007-11-18T19:50:00.000-05:00

saturday

2007-11-17T19:14:00.000-05:00

I've had a very nice day. Except for the squirrels. They woke me up at 8 this morning. They were scampering on the roof collecting nuts. In my sleepy haze it sounded like either people walking on the roof or mice in between the walls. Which freaked me out and I couldn't fall back asleep. Other than that I spent the day lounging, just like I had planned. And it was great! So great that I plan to do it again tomorrow.

happy friday!

2007-11-16T18:28:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have days where all you want to do is hibernate and veg out and not talk to anyone? That's how I feel this weekend. I don't have anything to do. I can sit around all weekend. Maybe I'll take a shower, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll bake something (like this recipe I found for an Apple Cranberry Crumble that looks sooo good!). Maybe I'll read a whole book, or just finish Harry Potter that I've been reading forever. Ah, the possibilities of laziness are endless!

it's electric...boogey woogey

2007-11-15T17:23:00.000-05:00

I got my electricity bill for this month and it's only $25.65! That makes me so happy. It's usually $100 or more. It's so low because the weather has been so nice and I haven't had to run ac and barely run the heat. I wish it could stay that low all the time but Mother Nature just doesn't care about the money I have to pay to heat and cool this place...evidence...tonight it's supposed to be 35 degrees and tomorrow night 31. At least it was nice to save about $75 before Christmas presents need to be purchased!

an open letter to all the people on bikes in my city

2007-11-14T17:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Bicyclers,

I believe the second rule of bicycling on roads is: follow the rules of traffic -- as if you were in a car -- most of you do not follow this rule especially you, the man I almost hit yesterday while driving through a green light. You had a red light and just peddled right through it, not looking to see if you were going to become roadkill. It wasn't until we almost collided that you realized what you were doing and gave a "oops, my bad" smile.

That rule is right after rule number one: wear a helmet -- it's the law and keeps your brains from splattering on the pavement when you drive through red lights thinking you're on a bike, you can swerve and maneuver your way around any car coming towards you.

Please think about this before you start peddling.
Thank you,
A Concerned Citizen

uh oh

2007-11-13T17:39:00.000-05:00

I was just about to write an open letter to the bicyclers again, but we'll save that for tomorrow because just as I sat down to start typing I heard a big crash, boom. I got up and ran to the front window, facing the street where I park my car and thought "Oh, that better not be my car!" Two cars had crashed into each other. I'm not sure how. One of them crashed into the car parked in front of me. Literally one foot away from my car. I stared out the window and I heard a man say "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. Are you ok? Are you sure you're ok. I'm so sorry."
I went outside to make sure everything was ok and to hope and pray they didn't hit my car. Both people in the accident are fine and so is my car. The man who hit the woman was very upset and kept saying "oh jeez, oh my God." A half an hour later police are here and things are being worked out. Of course I took time to take some photographic evidence. The car that hit the other has moved but you can still see the damage.

true crime

2007-11-12T17:26:00.000-05:00

Today my boss took me to lunch and while we were out he told me a story about his daughter who happens to live a few blocks from me.
His daughter lives on the second floor and last week someone broke into her downstairs neighbors apartment while they were there. They had a pumpkin sitting on their kitchen table, the person who broke in carved the pumpkin and left the knife stabbed in the pumpkin's "head." The person also ate their cookies. And left some in the pumpkin's mouth. They called the police and they came and took finger prints...nothing has happened yet.

I don't know how they didn't realize someone was there and I don't know what time of day this was. But it freaks me out. And the fact that the person spent time in there carving the pumpkin! And left the knife in the pumpkin makes it extra scary! And it's only a few blocks away! I'm freaking myself out! I may be sleeping with the lights on tonight!

photo essay : my favorite flickr photos

2007-11-11T17:33:00.000-05:00

Here are a few of my favorite photos found on flickr...

Minimal Winter by mark.os

Never out of touch - telephone in rural Scotland by Cherriwink50

90 Mile Beach by Jonathan!
Tree Moss by Jonathan!

FUN!!

2007-11-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

I realize I'm cutting it close here with less than 30 minutes before the official end of the day. I've had quite a busy day today and by busy I mean that I sat around until 6pm when I had dinner with Sarah and Michael. Then had an impromptu get together with Erika and some of her friends, Lindsey, Edgar and their best man, Lubi. We all met up at a bar where they had a live singer playing mostly songs we didn't like, but he did play two Paul Simon songs which sort of made up for the crap. Also, the bar had a lot of middle age people grinding on each other to James Taylor and Jim Croce. It was interesting. But it was also FUN!!